Burn baby, burn.

2011-12-24T06:51:00.000-08:00

What’s the real meaning of Christmas? To experience the joy and soak up the festive season? Or to experience the boredom and soak up the alcohol?

Christmas in Singapore is as depressing as it can get. Surely the mention of ‘Christmas’ conjures up images of falling snow outside and a roaring fireplace inside with merrily crackling fires and plush hearth rugs. Frost coats windows in a gossamer layer outside and paper chain decorations strew thickly across the glass inside. Jack Frost’s mischief can’t hurt you while you’re enveloped by heavenly warmth.

That’s all illusory for a country located smack right on the Equator. Christmas here comes with 30°C weather and humidity almost high enough to us to stick our tongues out and drink the water. This inevitably makes everyone uncomfortably hot and sticky. The sweat and the odour, OH THE ODOUR! When we try to mask that stench with perfumes, deodorants, body mists, all those smells combine to form a fluid soup in the air. Everyone just mills around in that BO-perfume-soup. What about the snow? Yeah of course we have that, in a plastic Styrofoam version.

I do yearn for those material aspects of Christmas, but I’m far from agreeing with the spiritual side. It’s all that love again. Everything has to close in on this bloody love-thing! I wouldn’t mind celebrating Christmas with friends, but most people celebrate it with their family right? Of course my life is uneventful now, but I can just imagine how awkward and tiring it’ll be in future. Parents coming over, having to explain your life so far, having them judge if your life is going to turn out successful, hearing them hinting every five minutes on you making a baby soon, etc. I could collapse from all that tension.

Not so bad this year. In fact it’s gonna be absolutely marvelous, I think. I’m going to spend Christmas at YanTing’s house, complete with steamboat for dinner! Not exactly how you would imagine Christmas to be like especially if her Chinese New Year decorations are already up (as are mine, perpetually). But who cares, I’m going to spend it with nice people! Hopefully some of their nice-ness will rub off on me.

2011-12-12T09:21:00.000-08:00

Fear of family: famaphobia.

I have that.

My aunt and I walked home all the way from Lakeside to Clementi. On the way home, besides hovering on the brink of crippling, I also had an increasing...developing...distinct, revelation I guess would be the word, that I really cannot deal with some human emotions. For now I can only name love and sympathy. I can handle hatred. Hatred's like a beast, a chimera ignited in the mind. You know what to do. You have to kill the beast. Love to me's like a newborn baby. Can you picture the bundle of joy? Can you see the bliss and feel the instinct to treasure this baby? I can't. I can't see past the red, screwed-up face. I won't know what to do with it. Does it want milk? Is it sick? Should I change the diapers? It's, it's such a complex emotion, love.

More specifically I'm afraid of family love. Some say friends are your chosen family but I beg to differ. Friends can never impress upon me the same effect as family. Unless, you know, some unfortunate incidences turned a friend into my family. I say I'm afraid of family love not because I'm scarred by a broken family (raging alcoholic dad, parents on edge of divorce, abusive parents etc.) but because I simply cannot acquire it. I repel it. I don't want it. My aunt was talking to me during the whole trip-on-foot. She said typical family things like 'will always be there for you', 'if you have any trouble you know you can always find me', 'stop worrying so much and just be happy everyday', 'you've got to take care of your body', 'don't hu2si1luan4xiang3' etc. Her arm was latched on mine the whole time. Everything she said made me feel so uncomfortable and ill. It's not just that it's cheesey (and I already can't handle cheesey stuff), it's, I don't know, it's more than that. I feel constricted by that arm latched onto mine and those kindly words. You can't say I'm ungrateful, what the heck, or maybe you can because I don't care. But my point is that this is a phobia! That whole trip home I felt trapped on a hamster wheel, waiting and waiting for it to end. All that care and concern being willingly offered to me in abundance, I view them as daggers. It's not my fault. I want to be grateful too.

Conclusion: I'm hoping I don't have to marry, so I can never have another family. I'll get a cat. She'll be my partner. We'll fuss over each vibrissa and little paw together.

2011-11-23T08:58:00.000-08:00

List of names for my future cat/daughter (female):

Cara

Mischa

Calliope

Calypso

Crack whore

Honey

Wanton

Yoghurt

Chi
Katinka
Minxy

List of names for my future cat/son (male):

Darling

Horny

Roma

Dante

Caesar

Kow

2011-11-15T09:43:00.000-08:00

I have realized, after a few days of denial and a whole lot of bewilderment, that without school, I. Actually. Have. Nothing. To. Do. Or, nothing interesting to do anyway. And I have no one to do (haha). I thought, perhaps, after school (or Bore Camp) wrapped up for the holidays, I could surface from under all the workload and take a breather. But I emerged expecting at least SOMETHING and found nothing. It’s just as boring these few days! In fact Bore Camp was a hell lot better because at least I got to co-exist within 200 metres of nice and fun people but unfortunately some smelly ones too. I want to talk to these nice and fun people but I hate communicating via text. Via screens, whether it’s big screens (Facebook) or small screens (sms). I don’t want to freaking communicate through pixels! I want to talk face to face and spray saliva. I want to hear voices and smell bad breath and see faces and comment on huge pores. I’m looking forward to tomorrow’s restructured lecture…

I attributed the fact that I’m bored at home to the fact that I lack a cat. I shall get one in future and her name shall be Minxy. I can already imagine cuddling her to my face and ruffling up her fur and waggling her little paws. Then hopefully the most interesting event that occurs in my day will no longer be just a sneezing spaz.

2011-11-13T06:22:00.000-08:00

I love movies and chocolate. It’s a wondrous combination. I think chocolate is best paired with movies with sexual innuendos, because it’s kind of like engaging in solo foreplay. Like, chocolate is a sex food, right? But I don’t do that ok. I so love chocolate. So much that I don’t want to eat them, but preserve the precious bar and savour every creamy morsel. I remember once I just licked the chocolate bar with the wrapping still intact, relishing the taste through chocolate diffusion or something. Normally I classify dark chocolate as inferior confectionary to milk chocolate due to the awful bitter aftertaste. But during movies I prefer dark chocolate slightly more to milk chocolate, just a little quirk. During movies I like my chocolate black, just like how I like my men.

Why do people like popcorn during movies? I like popcorn for breakfast. But during movies it’s dark and the puffy white stuff just scatter everywhere and you can’t see if you’re eating an unexploded corn kernel and crack your teeth and grimace painfully. Chocolate is so much easier. Just peel back the wrapper to expose cloying sweetness. Neat too. Popcorn isn’t good for eating in the dark; it’s just good for having mini food wars because it’s almost guaranteed that you can’t finish the whole bucket in a single sitting, so you might as well do something useful with it like throwing it in someone’s perfectly-styled hair.

If you haven’t tried chocolate + movies then you should, especially if you’re sad and single and boring and sadly, ugly because that may be the closest you’ll ever get to an orgasm.

Gonna hit the hay. Using computer for 2 hours + hairband pressing painfully at temples = self-induced pounding headache.

2011-07-17T07:46:00.001-07:00

There’s no proper food in the fridge containing the mummified terrapin. Oh wait, I lied, there’s half a doughnut. By proper food I mean proper food, like cabbage. My dinner consisted of a Pop Tart, mango pudding, apple pie and a sundae. Très très wholesome and nourishing. It may be nourishing fatwise but perhaps not vitaminwise.

I have to explain the mummified terrapin because the first sentence of this post just sounds too odd. My mum used to keep a pet terrapin which was ugly and slimy, typical of all terrapins or things that live in a shell. That’s why 90% of NJ should be in a shell. Not Belvia and her tortoise shell though. I think it’s mean of me to accuse the terrapin of being ugly and slimy because ugly is subjective and slimy, well it’s just its way of life isn’t it. Anyway I am the victim here ok! I have to ingest food kept in the same place as the terrapin’s carcass!! My mum kept the dead body wrapped up and placed it in the freezer, for what reason I don’t know. To pay respect to our late pet I suppose. It’s been there for a few years already. The terrapin has probably 成精. God of my fridge. Residing neatly above my precious ice cube tray.

2011-07-16T10:03:00.000-07:00

I've lost every last fragment of my humour. Actually humour shouldn't be described in fragments because it is connotative of fragility and humour isn’t fragile. It's like chocolate that can be passed around and cheer up the disconsolate. It should be described in chunks. And I don't even know why I lost it! I mean if I know why then I can get it back right. I need to see a shrink. 1) Lost my humour 2) occasionally thinks in third person perspective (she’s hungry, she needs to eat) 3) contemplated suicide in sec1 SEC 1 can you believe it; already want to die after 13 years. I think it was because I couldn’t adapt to the sudden change from primary to secondary school, and I was callow to say the least 4) a lot of people told me I think weird. I think I lost the humour part due to shock, which then triggered some psychological mutilation. On a brighter note I lost 2kg (in 2 two days, wtf I didn’t know it was physically possible) along with the humour. Maybe that’s the mass of it. 2kg. And I think the thinking in third person perspective is because I'm lonely sometimes. And I think I'm always adding 'I think' in front of all my statements because I'm unsure of them. Omg I need to stop analysing. My mind is forever analysing, forever forming conclusions. I analyse what I say, what other people say, why did someone do this, why did I do this, was I thinking at that time and blah blah a lot more. It’s not like I’m judging you, it’s just, I have nothing to do! It's driving me crazy. But I never take action based on my analysing results when I know I'm just doing it for the sake of doing it not because I really wanted to figure out something. I analyse a lot when I’m upset. Like when the Ph.D holder scolds me I’ll start analysing every single minute detail that my eyes take in so the voice in my head can block out her voice. Something like, hmm there’s a slight stain on her top, must be from the curry dinner just now. How to wash off? Curry seems so difficult to wash off. My mind is so defensive, it tries to block out everything it hates, even my own thoughts sometimes. Why did I talk about analysing, I was supposed to talk about the humour thing. I can’t express how upset I am. Yesterday in class I was doing the Econs essay for my group. Ms Tang walked in for the GC lesson and I stood up for the greeting exchange and I turned around and saw the class laughing happily. Then I felt a huge wave of misery and excused myself to the washroom. I hate crying in front of other people. Who wants to. It ruins your makeup and your vision blurs up and when the tears get in your mouth you can taste your own distress. I rushed in the disabled (disabled mentally) washroom and wept and wept. And embarrassingly enough I didn’t lock the door properly. I thought I did. The cleaning auntie came in and saw me and there was a flurried exchange of apologies before I closed the door again. Damn it. I stayed there the whole time. With 20 minutes to end of lesson I freshened up at the sink (my eyes looked like those of a drug addict) and tried to amuse myself by twisting my hair into a turban shape. Bunkus. It’s really easy you just have to gather all your hair into a ponytail and bring the gathered part to the front, near your forehead. Then you twist it and tuck it under and pin it in place. The whole time in the washroom I had the line from the song Garden of Exile by Toby Martin in my head. I’m only half here, I’m only half here. All the ridiculous stuff Belvia can conjure up weren’t as funny as before. I cried because I thought I can never laugh properly with all the people who matter to me again. At the morning table I did laugh a little yes but still I thought things weren’t as funny as before. I think the most important things in life are humour and humanity and happiness, equally important (followed immediately by beauty and charm, because I’m superficial).

I’m not talking to vegan anymoer. It’s too awkward. It’ll just turn into a staring competition because I have nothing to say. When I see his face, there’s not a thing that I can say, and it’s confusing, whatever I can’t rhyme it anymore. Ah siao (Belvia) said he’s angry at me because I said wanted to slap him. Obviouslt I was so cross he didn’t make things clear in the first place and I misunderstood but not anymore. None of anything anymore, because ah siao told me he misunderstood her question too. But (effing hell my sister just approached me and I closed this page in panic. My family will never be in my life properly no way because I’m about as active as fungus in my family) I forgot what I wanted to say wth. Oh, but I still can’t think of what to say. He’s angry at me and I have to apologise. Actually since I was nine I’ve already made up my mind that if I ever have friendship/relationship conflicts/problems I’ll be the one to apologise first regardless of whether I’m right or wrong. And I remember feeling so pleased with myself because apologizing first seems a marvelous idea. Any friction will be smoothed, all the other party has to do is accept my apology and everything will fall into place again. And so I planned the whole apology thing on my way home. The next day I will reach school early and drag him up to the rooftop(behind the choir store. I think that place is wonderful! Even though it's still a part of NJ, but it's like a separate, like, unaffected part. Like any phobia will be cured there any mood can be lifted there any problem can be resolved there. I must visit it often.) and apologise properly for not talking (cos that time I didn’t know he was angry at me yet) and I was supposed to hold his hand throughout the apology because, wait this sentence is too long. In p1 or p2 I read a story about two kittykats and their names were in Chinese so I forgot them already. Chinese is so forgettable. Anyway they were really close to each other or something and one day because of some fish they quarreled really badly. And so they went their own ways. Kittykat1 really wanted to everything to resume so it (forgot he or she. When their names are in Chinese you can’t really tell, like the two China pandas; pingping anan or something) went to seek advice from the Wise Woman of the Forest, who told it to find its own solution since it’s its own problem so it has to solve it itself. (why is the story so, practical? China people are like this, each man for himself. The kittykat travelled such a long distance why couldn’t this fairy woman thing just advise it?). And so it did and even though the story didn’t mention it but the illustration showed kittykat1 holding kittykat2’s hand when it was apologising and, I don’t know, the idea got stuck with me. Obviously it’s only for proper apologies, not like when you bump into a stranger by accident and you grab his hand and say sorry because that’d be queer. In Asia. He’d sue you probably, for physical misconduct. The last page was a picture of the 2 kittykats hugging, for a really long time, according to the book. And because of that I’ve stuck with the notion that the best way to apologise is by holding hands and hugging. I think there’re so many unsaid things you can put into a hug. But I’ve never done either one before because I’m like damn passive, any conflict and I will give in first because I hate conflicts so I’ve never really had to do any major apologies (except in sec1 with xuyue but I refused to do it). Oh wait I’ve done the holding hand thing in p4, omg embarrassing ttm. But oh well the next morning when I came to school MQ forgot to withdraw money from the ATM to lend him so I power-walked with him to the nearest petrol kiosk. When we went back to NJ I wanted to die from overheating. Who has the mood to apologise anymore right. Each man for himself I must save my own life first by cooling down. And then the idea just died on me la. The moment was gone. You know the Today Is The Day song by Tim Myers? Today is the day. I only know that line.

I’m still very senseless. Can’t laugh and can’t find things as funny as before and can’t find funny things to say.

Can’t talk anymore. I wanted to write all the above out because I don’t want anyone to see it especially vagan himself but no one reads my blog anymore so it’s safe I guess. Oh and plus he doesn't know the url. But still there's something satisfying about seeing such a long blog entry. And I don’t want my hand to dislocate. I’m more of a typing person I guess. I write so slowly that in the process of writing I can forget what I want to say. Why do all my statements have so many ‘I’s. I must be a really self-centered person.

I re-read this post and I think it's at best pretentious and at worst insignificant. Is it because we can never really express ourselves properly when the feeling is too..complex? I think people who can express themselves fully are so amazing. Thoughts to words, visionary to concrete, is such a wondrous process. The human language is so amazing, fascinating, overwhelming, after countless remarkable evolutions. Each language is so very unique. But I think the common language really is humanity, the language the blind can see and the deaf can hear.

2011-04-08T10:48:00.000-07:00

My first few months in JC are a blur. A dark blur, with pounding headaches and overloaded expectations. Everyday I can only revolve around my friends, like they are the lighthouses who guide me in a sea of strangers. Other people split the day like: morning assembly, Math, Chem SPA, rush homework, consult teachers. I split the day like: morning meeting with awesome people, spammage of lessons, break with Belvia, spammage of lessons, taking the bus home with awesome people.

JC really gives people severe brain-drain. My brain, after being bruised on a daily basis with useless information, is now about as functional as a shattered light bulb; totally, completely extinguished. I bet everyone wants the race to stop too. But instead, they just join in the mugging marathon. And the sad thing is I think I kind of understand why. It’s the ridiculously inflexible education system that forces people to work non-stop, in fear of being left behind. These people are really boring la. Some time ago in class, we were asked to write about our passion. Everyone had such boring topics such as Biology(omg wtfh). I wrote about plastic surgery which I’m truly interested in. How can anyone be actually interested in a subject taught in school? It’s sad because it’s tres tres pathetic to understand how the minds of these machines(they are not alive) work. But the even sadder thing is I will have to join them sooner or later in the destruction of brain cells. I remember those few months before O levels when I tried to cram information at every spare moment available: recess, lunch, after school, even during other lessons. It was like academic hell. OK I dunno what the hell academic hell is but still.

I hope, at the end of these two years, I will have gained more than just an A level certificate. I hope I’ll be able to keep some old friends and maybe make a few new ones. The longest friendship I’ve ever kept lasted for six years. None were longer than that. Something always comes up and everything we’ve built up together crumbles. Maybe it’s just due to my own awkwardness, but please, I really don’t want to lose any more of my current friends. In NH I’ve made so many and yet lost so many friends. They’ve all left; filtered out of my palms like water into nowhere. At first, I tried to keep them in vain. Then I just became numb to the feeling. Because it happened so often, all I felt was indifference.

2011-02-02T05:02:00.000-08:00

Wtf I hate male touch. My inner-lesbian side and girly side had a long hard debate about whether I hate male touch, which stretched over the period of several months and the lesbian emerged victorious. I hate male touch. It's such a big deal to me that it should be capitalised. Male Touch(wtf sounds like some movie title). My girly side says that I'm making a mountain out of a molehill and I should just relax but my lesbiany side, being the more rational one, firmly states that this is a very serious matter and should be looked into.

The deciding event that made me reach my decision that I resent Male Touch was when BlahBlah hugged me during truth or dare. Really it'll be a super fun game if the dares didn't involve boys or men or even she-men. But anyway, my face totally changed when he touched me. It's really not that I have something against BlahBlah, it's just that I suddenly jerked awake. So this is how it will be like in a relationship? It's gross, really, Male Touch generally(90% +-) is gross to me. I know right it's so immature of me to think like this. Plus I'm from a co-ed school I should have no problems with guys. But really I don't know what's wrong. It just feels weird, bizzare and honestly, slight gross. Not gross like associated with dead bugs but gross like...I dunno how to say...when you shudder all over? No I don't know how to express it. I always can't express myself properly and end up being misunderstood so my point is that I really need to improve my English. But no digressing. Unless the Male is gay(as in really gay in terms of sexuality) I will feel uneased. I re-read everything above and realized that I sound really loser like some nun and have never interacted with the opposite gender before. Omg this is really hard to be put into words. It's just a personal opinion. I have also realized that I dislike(must try to stay away from "hate", it's too strong) guys calling me pretty because in my honest opinion(*sigh* again, I'm extremely opinionated today, it must be menopanse) I'M NOT!! Really it's incredulous man. Frizzy hair, small eyes, acne scarring, actual acne, oily skin, size-of-Mars pores, flabby legs and stomach, unsharp nose, upper lip jutting out. Wow! I am simply gorgeous. (Lol I know people don't normally look so closely so I highlighted all the flaws. Now you know.) You can call me smart humorous compassionate whatev just not pretty. Sigh I'm lost for words...I'm not saying people shouldn't say I'm pretty simply because I beg to differ. I'm saying it's really weird to be called pretty by other people. No idea why. This is just a personal opinion ok! Wtf I feel like millions of people are judging me through their computer screens right now when in reality um probably no one reads my thoughts here. I dunno why I feel like this and think so weirdly, influenced by my growing-up environment perhaps? If you(guys only) think I'm pretty (which you seriously shouldn't or you are definitely blind man), keep it to yourself please I don't want to hear your opinion I only want to hear mine.

So to counter my girly side, my inner-lesbian killed it. I know everything might sound very humorous but really THIS IS NOT A JOKE. I just tried to draw up an interesting post so that some people might actually persist to read to the end. I'm very like 'hua chi' and easily infatuated but I swear moooost of the time, as soon as I got the attention(of males, being the attention-seeking whore I am), I want to toss it away! So screwed up right what's happening??! If you want to know my truthful answer to your question is that I don't know.

I will now remain 100% indifferent to all hints of romance however trivial with guys until I graduate from JC. Is that lesbiany? Hmm no I don't think so because I don't like girls in the romantic sense either. Wtf I even have to argue with myself over something that should be clear-cut. My sexuality is screwed man. Amen.

2011-01-30T06:36:00.000-08:00

My ringtone is "Do It Well" by J Lo. It begins like this: do it, do it, do it well~~ *music*. My sister can actually tell me she hears it like: Joy joy joy joy. It's not even close in the slightest bit.

She has developed an on-off American accent omg it annoys the socks off me when she does it even though I might not be wearing socks.

2011-01-29T22:16:00.000-08:00

Now when people call me Cara it feels very...cold? Foreign maybe. Yi Ting is more welcoming. Only my sec school ppl call me Yi Ting. But have to use Cara in workplace next time(unless I successfully become a tai tai) so um let's just put up with it. I might meet my future colleagues or boss in NJC. Which brings me to my next point: WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FIND JOBS NAOO?? How come even like university graduates cannot find jobs??? Then what about our batch when it's our turn?? Omg stupid inflation everything is like so expensive nao... What if we can't even buy like rice or something because the price has soared to like 50 bucks per kg?? (Oh damn I use "like" a lot unknowingly.)

2011-01-29T21:53:00.000-08:00

I skimmed through the post on working at Isetan and realized it sounded almost incoherent. I didn't manage to really express how I felt about my first job and the post looks as if written by a preschool kid with a below-average grasp of the English Language.

Ok anyway, my dad is pestering me now again. At some point in time in the past five years, I've developed a growing dislike for him. For both of my parents actually, but more for him. I know it's wrong(or is it?) to say this about them but then again there are no restrictions to what one can and cannot like, is there? Guilt turmoils with resentment as well, but I can't help the feeling. It's not even rational, what I'm feeling. Everytime he asks me something(as trivial as where to go for dinner), my blood pressure would increase tenfold. Recently he's been extremely vexing on asking about me O's grades. Can't you see the annoyance that flickers across my face(not subtly) everytime you ask about that? Could I have inherited my dislike for him from my mum? Sometimes I would realise how much I ignore him and inwardly squirm with guilt. But mostly it's all-out ignoring, like some freaking cold war. I don't know why I resent him so much though. Did I pick up the vibes from my mum? She treats him really really badly, like how someone would brush off an irksome fly. They barely seem to make anymore contact at all. I don't live in a healthy family. At the age of 16 I've perfectly inherited her brusque way of treating the only man in the house. It's because of him that I sometimes, more often than not, recoil(internally duh) to people's touch, unless I happen to like the person. What's this what's this?!! One of life's simpler pleasures, ruined for me.

I think I'm some asshole, going around black-mouthing my own family online lol.

2011-01-22T23:38:00.000-08:00

I just made chocolate mousse for the first time and it tastes delicious so rich so decadent really I must be a born genius chef there is no other explaination.

2011-01-21T10:14:00.000-08:00

Kite-flying is like holding a string and staring up at some cloth fluttering away in the air, and also...oh wait, that's all to it. Imho it falls squarely into the category of talk-cock-sing-song-play-guitar. Which makes it fun I guess?

2011-01-17T05:25:00.000-08:00

Omg it's so cold I'm reaching my freezing point.

2010-12-25T10:32:00.000-08:00

It's 2330 now, around the time when I normally reach home from work at Isetan Shaw House. I do toy-promoting on the basement level. Through the job I met many lovely new people. They are Katherine, Celia, Jot, Auntie Eng, Xin Ling, Cherie, Jaypee, Monica, William and others(who aren't lovely and I don't fancy talking to again).

I miss my job! It feels like a stomach ache, like how much Harry misses Hogwarts? Now I've stopped working after being transfered to Suntec City but I still miss the old one at Shaw House so much! It pains to think about all I've experienced and discovered there. Isetan possesses a warmth I find hard to put in words. Everyone should try working there once. Anyway, YT thinks I miss the job because of the people there, which is true to only 50%. More so, I miss the job because of the carefree lifestyle I've chanced upon there. Arriving at work at 2pm, slipping on the apron, promoting the toys, talking to and laughing with the fun co-workers there. I want this life. Honestly I wouldn't mind living like this for a salary of $1000 a year. It's selfish to say I miss the job because of how I felt relaxed there. I miss it too because of who I've met. I'm sure it wouldn't have been so fun if not for them. I don't care about the $5 per hour pay, I just want to work like that with them forever.

I remember so much from the three weeks there. On the first day Katherine told us we need to buy comfortable shoes for sales promoters spend long hours standing, so I bought a pair of rounded tip flats from Far East Plaza the very next day but failed to meet the comfort factor again. On the same trip, I also bought lunch(OMS from Shihlin) for YT, Celia and myself. I remember eating one whole pack of peppermint éclairs everyday for the first few days of work. Incidentally they weren't even éclairs(as claimed on the packaging), just sweets with peppermint chocolate filling. I'd hide the pack behind the tv and eat when no one's looking. After a few days I got bolder and popped sweets into my mouth without a care of being detected(eating during working is not allowed). Jot told me my hair looked hen3 kong3 bu4 on the first day I decided to let it down, so Katherine did my hair for me into a Japanese-style bun with a hair chopstick. I felt pleased then and admired it from all angles in the reflective pillar. I shared the omu rice available in the Isetan supermarket with YT for dinner on the first day. Katherine, Jeanice and I often had sushi after 9pm because it's HALF-PRICE! I remember Kat likes raw salmon, scallop and crabmeat mayonnaise. On the first day I felt lost as YT and I went up the scary long escalator. After we found our working area, I tried desperately to cram in the vast amount of toy information Stefani was reeling off. I remember the anticipation every morning I felt as my bus approached the bus-stop outside Royal Thai Embassy. I would get down hurriedly(just to clock in a few extra minutes on my punch card) and half-run to the entry of the office building. More often than not, I would see Cheng Kai having a smoke break at the benches near the road. My bag would swing wildly on my arm and I recall hitting a child once on the head(thank god he didn't cry). I would walk the long narrow stretch of tiled floor and deposit my bag at the security office daily. It was more than a routine to me. Our business was really good and we would restock every few days. There was once when we received snow globes that didn't sing as promised on the box, so I went to level 4 to borrow screwdrivers in an attempt to open one and find out what's wrong. Some guy tried to help me and he ended up breaking it haha. I found Jaypee to be really nice and was forever seeking excuses to go up to level 4, just to catch a glimpse of him and hopefully have a chat. Haha so sorry to Jeanice and YT. Before Jeanice started work I would go home alone every night and walked home with a stranger once, who I later found out was William, Isetan's shoe supervisor. Btw Isetan stocks really good shoe paddings! They'll save any painful sole day. I remember my frustration during the first morning when I couldn't get the TV games to work, then my frustration at the customers when they actually started working(Press A to start ball! You have to swing the remote to hit the ball before it hits the ground! You're too slow, it's somewhat like real tennis! No of course it's not Wii!). I was delighted when I could operate the toy piano. Katherine told me to leave the Jingle Bells song on for a festive mood. I loved the mochi sold by Jot near the cashier and shared a box with YT before. J and I would sit on the escalators after work because we would be worn out. Auntie Eng was really cute and always asked if I have eaten whenever we met. I fell asleep one night when I was doing night shift alone on the platforms and Jot totally frightened me when he shouted BOO. Oh and I was bewildered when Joey told me to put the toys on the of the platform and under the wagon on the first day. I kept picturing the MRT platform and the horse-driven carriage haha! A platform is just a wooden thing you put stocks on the a wagon is this foldable display cart with an empty space below. Sales jargon... Jaypee came down and helped us once, when stocks arrived and he tripped over the Pokemon boxes. I remember laughing because he looked so adorable. I felt shocked and sad when I discovered that Celia and Kat were smokers. Last Sunday when I went back to visit I breathed in a considerable amount of second-hand smoke while talking to Kat. Jeanice and I would do afternoon shift while YT did morning shift. I walked home with J and Kat and William on the second last day and Kat gave J and I papaya. Kat, Jot, J and I once sat in McCafe and had Pepper Lunch takeaway haha! Jot, Kat and I once went to Orchard Towers for dinner and I spent $7 on freaking economic rice...Kat said it was qiao1 zha4. On the last day we spent a long time wrapping up our stocks and clearing up. YT and J did full shift that day. Jaypee came down at night to supervise and I found out he was here on a one-year contract and would be returning to his country in June. No more seeing him after that. We went home super late that night.

All these are some of my memories of my first job. I love it.

2010-11-29T02:50:00.000-08:00

This is so funny lol. Earlier I thought suddenly I smelt China. Then I looked outside the window and saw that the haze has returned. It's like the air there.

2010-11-29T00:17:00.000-08:00

I am still angry... Verbally abusing people doesn't soothe me. I want to bash her really hard. I must be violence-personified.

2010-11-29T00:02:00.000-08:00

Omg this is it I've realized what it's like to live with an asshole. This is the last time I'm saying my sister is really dumb shit and it's freaking true. I quit trying to be nice to her once and for all. From today onwards she will be a stranger to me. Who the hell is she?! I can live with a bird-brain who makes excuses no longer. She is officially not related to me anymore. Always trying to do me in.

Bi Rain and Christina Aguilera Pepsi Comercial

2010-11-17T12:08:00.001-08:00

KYAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! How can one sound sexy just by saying "da da da"?! I love his husky voice aarrrrrgh! Xtina was cool in the vid too love her hair and voice!!

2010-11-15T10:51:00.001-08:00

Rain Rain Rain Rain Rain. How can anyone not like him?! How how how?! He must be like the fittest fittie everrrrr! He's funny cute amazing modest tall super-well-built handsome what more can you ask for??! Only thing is the language barrier, but he knows English too oh my god. Oh my god. I want to collapse in his arms.

Btw was doing some aimless surfing when I discovered that Big Bang did a (korean) cover of Maroon 5's This Love. Wow I knew there was something! Thought Big Bang copied Maroon 5. Anw I tried to find Maroon 5's MV on Youtube and apparently you have to be at least 18 years of age to view it, so I had to specially create an account (=.=) and now I know why it's M18.

This is Big Bang version:

Which is better?? I think the first, because it's less cheesy.

2010-10-18T08:32:00.000-07:00

Studying at the library.

Pros:

No mother to nag at you.

No internet to disturb you.

Cons:

Have to reach early to snag seats.

Too quiet sometimes.

Have to run outside every thirty minutes to thaw your frozen bottom.

Might hear someone in the loo tearing open a sanitary pad vigorously and discover her to be your primary school classmate wth.

2010-10-11T08:43:00.000-07:00

I am eating grapes and typing, typing and eating grapes, eating grapes and more grapes.

Went to the library with F and YT. The room beside Galileo Cafe is SO much more conducive than the reference level. If you're a regular there you'll know what I mean. There will ALWAYS be a bunch of Tan Ah Bengs (and their female counterparts) twittering about at a table near your own.

Conversation I overheard while visiting the library washroom some weeks ago:

Tan Ah Beng (TAB)#1: Hey you wanna come to my house to play ball later?

TAB #2: Uh...how many you have? One ball not fun leh...

TAB #3: Obviously two la how many you think he has?!

*raucous and uncouth laughter*

Seriously I was robbed of speech.

Back to studying. The room next to Galileo Cafe is also perfect for sneakily eating when you're peckish. No one ever patrols the area, except for a random security guard poking around once in two hours? I LUUURVE breaking rules without getting caught. You see, it's just an example of the lax morals I have. I got past the security guard at the entrance for bringing food in too WHEE it's quite gratifiying when you succeed! It's not like you "sha ren fang huo" or anything so it's quite all right~

Oh my sis just swiped my grapes from under my nose... I am her math slave I'm telling you! Her school must be bonkers to set such questions(bordering on undoable). Literally spent 1.5 hours on a trigo question before cracking it.

Sometimes I just abruptly lose the interest to blog with a *snap*. Lucky I don't feel the same way about living.

2010-09-23T07:25:00.000-07:00

~~Oh what's the point, I'm not made to bend flexibly I'm made to shatter into pieces.~~

2010-09-23T06:33:00.000-07:00

In time to come, even when I'm older than Mdm Surin, with wrinkled parchment as a pathetic excuse for my skin and scabby knees that shake uncontrollably and a brain filled with bits of fluff, I will never stop blogging. A blog is like an online Pensieve to me, where I can siphon out my thoughts and swirl them in, where they can be viewed and reviewed later as reflection and at leisure. The fact that nobody really reads my blog is even better, it makes it like a confidential diary(lol repeated), like your own little space to confide in(oops cheesy language slip).

For now, I'm unable to siphon out my thoughts as freely as I wish. The reins of O Levels are cutting deeper every day, leaving my mind raw and bleeding anxiety. I just hope after the hurdle, my remaining inner being will be at least slightly more than a sheer husk of a person. Of course, with all the other issues murking around, exhaustion of my academic capability will not be the only factor to my degeneration. Let's cross our fingers and pray for the best everyone. Good luck on your journeys too.

2010-08-22T06:37:00.000-07:00

I really really love Ellen Degeneres, she is my inspiration. Her sincerity, humour and charisma are brilliant. She never sits before her guests do so and always has something to compliment them on. All the people attending her show are always in good spirits and look genuinely happy to be there. The place has a relaxed atmorphere, like time has stopped right there and then. She is really an amazing woman. I love you Ellen!

entertaining

2010-08-02T07:23:00.001-07:00

Irish, Huh?
Upper East Side girl reading book about knights: Mommy, what does our family crest look like?
Upper East Side mom: Poor people being crushed by a boot.

--Playground, E 72nd St

Overheard by: Dude under the shoe
via Overheard in New York, Jul 30, 2010

Tonight's Movie: Naked Lunch
Female suit: I don't think I have time for lunch.
Male suit: Let's do a quickie.
Female suit: Do you even know what that means?
Passerby suit, pumping arms: Go for it, guys!

--44th St & Vanderbilt

Overheard by: Hell Yeah
via Overheard in New York, Aug 1, 2010

Where Reality Show Contestants Come From: Explained.
Gay man #1: There's always a moment in plays where someone has the chance to drop their morals and go for the money...
Gay man #2: But that opportunity never arises in real life. I keep waiting. Got my morals all bagged up and ready to go!

--Uptown A Train

Overheard by: Julie

via Overheard in New York, Aug 2, 2010

2010-07-08T02:35:00.000-07:00

Compilation of my favourite routines from So You Think You Can Dance. THEY'RE ALL AWESOME!

John Legend - Green Light (2010 FIFA World Cup™ Kick-off Concert)

2010-06-19T05:03:00.000-07:00

Dark Origins

2010-04-28T07:11:00.000-07:00

Ever since I read that book, my consistently dull and limited imagination drove straight to, uncontrollable. I was curled up in the library reading it and felt like using the washroom. Usually I treat it as paying a visit to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, because that's just how it really is, dark and gloomy. Today, just before I stepped in, I paused with my hand on the door, mind on the book, and for some bizarre reason my heart beat increased a notch. But I dismissed my thoughts as er, crap and went in anyway. Then, even more stupidly, I somehow contemplated on leaving the cubicle door unlocked, should a quick escape(from dunno-what) prove necessary. Eventually, I decided to use the bright washrooms at Jurong Point instead, just opposite, to spare myself of emotional instability(lol, TEMPORARY). So before I exited I washed my hands, AND, even the soap mocked me. The dispenser squished a large dollop of lurid red gel onto my outstretched hand and I actually withdrew it immediately and flinched. Red red red, the colour of blood. Usually I loved how my hands were left lingering with the fresh berry scent, but today it just reminded me of...brain matter. They should have used peach, a far less dangerous colour.

When I stepped out of the library, it was pouring outside. I had a good half hour to kill, which I was planning to spend on window shopping in Jurong Point, but due to the rain I could only wait outside the library glumly. After only ten minutes I felt bored already. The wind was puffing and puffing. The concrete pillar returned no warmth or comfort to my shoulder. I ran my finger along its rubber depressions between tiles. A clap of thunder then caused me to, um, spasm(isthishowyouuseitlol?) and leave a mark on the latex with my fingernail. I think the phobia went a little too far lol.

Thinking of KR brings some strange comfort, even though I can't bring myself to admit it.

2010-04-14T06:47:00.000-07:00

testing html~

2010-03-18T01:11:00.001-07:00

I removed the tagboard! To wish me happy birthday you have to do it in person! =)

2010-03-10T03:52:00.001-08:00

I TORTURE MYSELF

2010-02-28T07:56:00.000-08:00

Man I think the more I develop the more I become a Wen Ti Xiao Hai. I know, people who say they are wentixiaohai are actually not, but I think I'm stirring so much trouble for my family..Sorry Mom and Dad! I'm not good with talking so I try to put my heart-felt feelings into this post instead. I know I'm forever pushing you two out of my life, I'M SORRY! It's difficult right now, maybe because I'm really stressed out. I will try harder I promise!

Saturday and Sunday were dirty, because I didn't shower since Friday night, AT ALL! Cos I learnt from GregoryGORGEOUS that showering too much strips the body and hair of natural oils, so when I'm not going out or anything I try to leave a day or two. But those kinda days would turn out to be bad days. Like today, I didn't even have the guts to open the door for fear of scaring the pizza man with the greasy streaks, so my dad had to shower quickly and open it instead. That means I had pizza again!! Hawaiian and Curry Chicken. It was supposed to be like a celebration for the end of Common Tests, but like the mood's not there at all, cos I keep worrying about my weight. Already had pizza on Friday. Plus the pizza was soggy dunno why(don't think about it), like the dabao from canteen store number one.

OH YES THE DA BAO! Everytime I eat it I can taste grisly bits from the meat(sometimes they'll get stuck between my teeth). Makes me really suspicious where the filling is from. Chicken? Pork? Possibly even rabbit lol. Haha all the other stores have their own problems. Once the seaweed from the suhi from Japanese Cuisine was so resilient, like I had to tug at it with my teeth to tear bits off, similar to eating condoms I suppose, but no one does that right?

You know my parents are so not close. They don't hug kiss do shit. By do shit I mean hold hands. How they survived after so many years is a real mystery to me. I mean like, they don't have needs meh? I myself believe I certainly can't stand such a physically stagnant relationship. I would have found a pimp long time ago. Cos, doesn't it feel nice to be loved and held in embrace? Where is the driving force for the relationship? No wonder they always quarrel over such insignificant matters.

Happy birthday to Zhi Yu! You're sixteen already! Hope you liked your surprise party haha =) Lol I know you will confirm kick butt all across NH during O Levels. Good luck!!

99th post of words of wisdom

2010-01-30T06:26:00.000-08:00

Sigh I feel like a slut, and definitely not in a good way. Kept thinking about unneccesary stuff today. People, don't go around having infatuations with others ok, it will ruin your thinking.

YOU! Forgive me please! I really didn't sell you out on purpose! I'm really really really really sorry! I don't even dare to apologise after the first failed attempt because I'm afraid you'll hit me. If you don't talk to me again then band will turn really boring. Then percussion people's ties will become so strained. Then everyone will talk less. Then I will think it's my fault for perc break-up. Then I will feel guilty. Then I might go bulimic. Then I might die. See, it's that close to my death!

FLAG DAY

2010-01-23T07:52:00.000-08:00

I love flag days! Going to do more from now on! But my fave form of CIP is still doing library work, can even have access to hard-to-find books sometimes.

See, I love flag days because today was the first time I collected so much money in the tin! And I was actually REEEALLY taken aback with the readiness how some people can part with their money. QinSi said someone who was about to board a taxi across the road actually ran over to donate $10 before riding off. Insane or what? I also had this guy stuff 21 coins into my can(he laughed at my stunned face after he finished). I was floored. To think that such generous people exist in real life. So it was a real eye-opener for me. I must also donate more! Flag day really helps in developing moral value(for me la). I'm a hypocrite no longer so there.

ALSO(lol must emphasise AUHL-SOHH like Nickel), what's not to love when two cute boys come a-crossing!

Me: Please donate to charity!

A: Ask him.

B: Ask him.

(B then takes out wallet to donate.)

A: Is today World Donation Day or something? *VERY VERY VERY CUTE SMILE*

Lol I remember at this point I was secretly =.= zzz-ing inside but I didn't tell him it's lame (what world donation day) la because in the 21st century peoples' egos are so fragile sigh.

Then I forgot what was said. But B took a sticker and slammed it on A's chest so hard, he stumbled backwards lol strong.

They're still very cute.

Er let's see what other funny conversations did I have...

Me: Please donate to charity!

Man takes out money to donate.

Me: Thank you!

Man: OK girl! *rougish wink*

zz whatev.
Some time later......

Me: Please donate to charity!

Woman shakes head.

Toddler with her: *shows me a donation sticker* *in sing-song voice* ALREADY~~~~~

Me: OK boy! *rougish wink*

LMAO I am so lame right. But I wanted to do that to someone after that guy did it to me HAHAHA it was so funny! The boy stared at me for 3 seconds and smiled back. Kids are so innocent.

Some time later......

I wanted to go for lunch, so I approached a plausible housewife and intended to ask, "May I have the time?" and also, "Would you like to donate to charity?"

What ended up was......

Me: May I donate to charity?

Worst thing was I said it too loudly and also made eye contact. She gave me a perplexed look while I cringed in embarrassment. But she still donated la, at least she didn't walk away and make me look like a complete loser.

2010-01-21T06:36:00.000-08:00

Oh shoot I was applying the hair conditioner near the window just now and some blobs fell down below. Hope no unfortunate passer-by was splattered with the stuff...it looks like semen.

2010-01-20T04:54:00.000-08:00

My mum just screamed her head off at me for scattering cereal all over the windowsill. The coloured pebbles type. Zzz all right all right she has a point. Will be neater in future ok? *still fuming* She accused me of messing up the house single-handledly everytime it's cleaned. Which is kinda true? True-ish. In this kind of situation, are you supposed to feel remorseful? Ashamed? Somehow I just feel angry and indignant, even though it WAS my fault. But I think it's human nature to feel this way. If someone you don't like shouts at you then it's normal to boil up right? I will change, not for anyone, but because I want to be a better person. Selfish ma.

I remember in primary school, it was always each man for himself(except for friends and not-friends-but-people-I-like-la). I was talking about this to someone quite a long time ago, and she told me when humans show compassion for others, they are still hypocritical because they only want others to think well of them. I strongly disagree but didn't voice out my opinion. I have no reasons for my stand, but I just think it's so judgmental to think of people in this way and I don't believe that humans are so deceitful anyway. As long as they're not anyone I know. I choose to believe the best of everyone I meet now, because there's no point in mistrusting anyone without a basis and making them upset. If everyone takes off his "mask", then life will be made so much easier because people will be living their lives with their true personality. No wariness or doubt need occur.

Actually the thing that triggered me to write the above paragraph was an article in the HCL re-test paper. Getting back results tomorrow. Elephants in my stomach on a wild rampage.

Oh my god Yan Ting is practically a hair-tying sensation now all thanks to meeee!, and Felicia for letting her practise on her ha! Tomorrow maybe will attempt to tie the fishtail braid again, but it's so troblesome man!

I just found out that my sis and mum(lol why did I type mom just now) share my pimple picker without telling me WTF! Can someone please shout HYGIENE??! Going to buy a new one tomorrow zz so angry at them! My sis even used my towel WTFx2 even though I forbid her many times to do it. So naturally I was super pissed off and threw a hissy fit, so she complained to mum and I was reprimanded! "Share towel also won't die what? I really have no towel alr!" Fuming like mad now. Luckily my mum bought 2 new ones, one for each of us. The old dusty blue one is going to be binned. The new funky orange one replaced it. But just found out that it sheds! And when my legs are wet, it leaves hard little pellets of orange fluff on them. Can someone please invent the perfect towel?!! I'd like one that whips the heads of people-who-are-not-the-owner-and-try-to-use-it. Towels can at most be shared only for drying hair ok!

Sympathy Overload

2010-01-11T07:44:00.000-08:00

I'm always learning new things everyday, no matter how insignificant. Like how I learnt a week ago that Mr Darren Tay sprays saliva while he's talking. Like how I learnt that the awesome Mr Tan is Zhong Ni's form teacher.

So today, I learnt that I cannot handle sympathy. When I had my O Level Chinese results today, I was disappointed when I saw the small black "B" on the slip. But I still couldn't break down in front of everyone so I just shouted with awkward bravado, "I got a B!" While crying inside. Gone through the whole process of witnessing various A-scorers hi-fiving with ecstasy. So far so good, still didn't cry out. Then when Felicia hugged me, tears burst forth in downpours. But of course I wiped everything away immediately and didn't let anyone see la, a little loserish for my liking. This is only the second time I cried in school. The only other time being at Sec One when I was slapped. The situation was similar; it was controlled at the beginning, only when people started asking if I was all right did I burst into tears. I can only take in a teaspoon of sympathy before I start flooding the place. Hum hum..I hope it's normal to feel this way.

Went to band today. Kester intrigues me. Just like how Britney Spears, Felix, Mr B Tan used to. Lol I think I'm always intrigued by people who I didn't use to notice.

2010-01-06T04:00:00.000-08:00

Surfing the net for more Jude Law info when WTH I came across a pic of him naked. Totally uncensored and all. Don't say I went looking for porn because I saw the link in another blog. Ahem, not going to post the link here but those interested can ask me HAHAHAHA(serious).

SHERLOCK HOLMES!

2009-12-28T00:42:00.000-08:00

HOT!

Older men have all the appeal.

The movie simply, blew me away. Loved every bit of the plot. Everything was so unforseen, out of the blue. The way Holmes and Watson click together is just, WOW! But I can't believe Watson is Jude Law. He's aged that much?! And my whole ding-dong family prefers Hua Mu Lan. Don't get it.

Robert Downey Jr with Rachel McAdams! MATCHED!

2009-12-20T03:55:00.000-08:00

My sis' mad at me for guzzling all the peanut nougat. Lol sorry~ I ate them cos I was alone at home. When I'm alone my first instinct is to strip the fridge of all food. I've morphed into a female Garfield completely.

Pizza Hut with Maggie yesterday at Jurong Point. I had Chicken Pomodoro and she had Spicy Chicken Pomodoro. And mine had to come with yucky olives. I swear everytime I visit Pizza Hut the menu changes! I remember the signature pasta dish used to be Chicken Neapolitan or Chicken Carbonara or other whatnots and now it's changed to Chicken Pomodoro but it tastes EXACTLY THE SAME! Even the ingredients are the same. =.= Spaghetti, chicken, tangy tomato based sauce...so confusing! But I always ordered minestrone soup cos I love all vegetable-based soup! And I hate cream-based soup(the minestrone is never on the Soup of the Day T.T ).It's virtually a bowl of pure fat. Very shocked to discover, just yesterday, that minestrone is not pronounced mine-strone but mee-ne-STRO-nee. I've been saying it wrong for 5 years! *Buries head in shame*

Everytime on the MRT when I hear the announcement "No eating or drinking is allowed on stations and trains", I have a bizzare impulse to reply "Yes?" The "eating" part really sounds like Yi Ting.

I love Foxfire so much! Listening to it daily. Much better than Twin Oaks. Xylophone parts on Foxfire are also more challenging. But I screwed it all on the Bella Notte Musicale concert. So much that I improvised Les Miserables all the way =.= Very sorry to Mr Tan! Especially after all the effort he's put in. Stage fright got the better of me...maybe more practice next time will work. I REALLY PROMISE, I WILL WORK HARDER IN BAND NEXT YEAR! Not a piecrust promise ok!

MY MUM JUST BOUGHT MORE NOUGATS! BYE!

(Omg, just look at my half-baked apology.)

2009-12-18T10:38:00.000-08:00

I finished a whole pack of peanut nougats myself today. Washed down with loads of soda(burp). Seriously going on herbivorous diet tomorrow. All that green stuff. I must stop eating sugar! I think my sugar consumption alone takes up at least 10% of my family's monthly grocery bill. My sister's immense love for all soy products takes up another 10%. Around 40% goes to buying fish and the rest, vegetables and miscellaneous. My mum also loves all those weird herbal berbal stuff. Like how she's drinking some weird rose tea out of the spindly tea-cup now. My idea of a comfort drink on a rainy night is warm black coffee in a sturdy mug with extra sugar, not some mild tea with fussy petals floating on top in a fragile cup.

Anyway, my family's going to my parents' friend's house tomorrow. On Chinese New Years or Christmases, all we've EVER VISITED is them. Like, we've ONLY been to their house, no one else's, because all my family's relatives are in China. It's gotten really boring now going there annually, so everytime a visit crops up, I'll make up some excuse not to go or, if they're coming over, I'll make up some excuse to get myself out of the house for the whole day.

Excuses I've used so far which were all not true:
Going shopping with Anyang
Going swimming with my friends
Going to my teacher's house to celebrate her birthday
Going to the library to do project
Going to band practice

Wriggled out of so many visits, dunno how long I can keep it up. I suppose I should go at least once in a while, for manners' sake. But tomorrow I'm going to the library to do CIP with Maggie and have dinner together afterwards, so, WHATEVER! I always feel bored when I go over. Like all they do is to discuss their extensive wine collection and their son's lousy results. I remember I used to have a crush on him when I was really young(7 years old I guess, we've been visiting the same and only family since I wasn't even born yet till now, can you say pathetic?) because he was really fun and spontaneous. I used to race him around the void deck(and lose spectacularly) and laugh and joke with him and everything. Now that he's older(20 I think?) he looks kinda handsome I suppose but all the fun's been lost now that we've matured. Don't like him anymore(AND he's TAN yucks! Not like my gorgeous porcelain Nickel~). We no longer talk, at all. When they come over, he goes down to the court to play basketball. When we go over, I don't even go lol. Even when I do go, I sit on the sofa politely with my legs crossed and hands folded like how they take the class photograph with my most demure smile and pretend to listen to the adults' conversation with an sincerely interested look on my face while actually daydreaming about what I could eat from the fridge if I were at home. Sheesh I feel like Garfield. Once, his mum commented on how I dress too mature for my age (that was when I was Sec 2) and I looked cross and rolled my eyes at her. Think I've left a bad impression of myself on their whole family. But seriously I don't know what was wrong with me during my lower secondary years. Think I was sooooo excited about entering my teenage years, I tried too hard to look grown-up and ended up looking like a cheap prostitute(my firm opinion). I even wore lipgloss to school one day during Sec 1, which Magdelene declared as gross hahaha! Luckily I'm more relaxed now and can laugh about it. I was SOOO super self-concious about myself previously. Any negative comment about me, no matter how insignificant, and major paranoia kicks in.

Ok whatev enough of my details, going to sleep, it's 0330 in the morning! Night, sweeties~

2009-12-13T07:13:00.000-08:00

Why's everyone harping on New Moon these days? Some fans aren't even real, they just jump on the Twilight bandwagon because everyone's doing so. The whole Twilight series to me is just...a never-ending saga of deluded crap. Like, vampires? You can't get more unrealistic than that. Edward is so act cool. Love Kristen Stewart though! Gorgeous hair!

2012 is also gay.

So the only movie I've been liking recently is Hua Mu Lan!

2009-12-13T04:16:00.001-08:00

They Do This Just to Make Adult Men Freak Out
Four-year-old girl #1, waving barbie doll: Sex!
Four-year-old girl #2: Sex!
Both girls, happily: Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex!

--G Train

Overheard by: Sunny
via Overheard in New York, Dec 11, 2009

2009-12-06T05:52:00.000-08:00

I'm still thinking about the gynaecologist. I can't name him in case someone puts it on STOMP and he gets all the bad publicity, so from now on I'll refer to him as Mister Fine And Dandy.

Lol just showed YT and Felicia his picture. Think they just cracked a few ribs. But he's really nice! Omg so sorry MFAD I can't think of anything except the generic "nice" to describe you. But that's what you are! And you're sensitive, understanding, mature blah blah too many good qualities.

Can't believe I'm writing this about someone's husband.

I hate age barriers! Why's he fifty and I fifteen. HOW TO BE TOGETHER(even if he's single)??

I want to lead a normal life with him. I want to go to the beach and link arms and walk happily with my head on his shoulder. I want to get ice creams with him and spoon-feed him. I want to go shopping with him for new ties and cufflinks. But all's so impossible!

Going to cry my heart out.

LOL

2009-12-06T05:11:00.000-08:00

FROM OVERHEARD IN NEW YORK:

Everybody's Saved. Now Could Somebody Buy Me Breakfast?

Uptight middle-aged evangelist woman: You are all sinners. Jesus Christ is coming and you are all going to be condemned to hell.
Toothless eighty-year-old hobo: I'm Jesus.
Uptight middle-aged evangelist woman: Jesus is coming and you all will be dining with Satan.
Toothless eighty-year-old hobo: I'm already here. I'm Jesus.
Uptight middle-aged evangelist woman: No you aren't.
Toothless eighty-year-old hobo: I'm telling you, I'm Jesus. How do you know I'm not Jesus?
NYU hipster: My lord! You have returned!

--6 Train

2009-11-28T03:29:00.000-08:00

Open House was uneventful. Ate 2 boxes of the packed lunch. Departed to Jurong Library alone. Read magazines until 4pm. Took bus back to Clementi. Got caught in the rain. Couldn't go home for one hour.

On blah days like this I wish I could just turn into a pack of char mee and get eaten up. Or something more sophisticated, like Tortellini with Peas and Prosciutto.

Ok I thought of the above paragragh while mulling over the whole day in the bus. The rain pounding on the windows dull my thoughts immensely. So I was thinking, what would I look like if I were a dish? Would I be tasty? On confident days I can be top-notch bouillabaisse. When I'm tame I'll be Mum's home-cooked lor mee. When I'm sad I can be heart-warming chicken soup. When I'm bored I'll turn into plain old char siew pau. When I'm coy, there's always dark chocolate truffles drizzled with rum? I'll be thick creamy cheecake when I'm feeling rich.

HAHA!

2009-11-22T05:33:00.001-08:00

GYNAECOLOGIST!

2009-11-19T04:30:00.000-08:00

I'm stuck! I can't stop thinking of my gynae! To do him justice, he's 40+, and uh just quite average looking, like your typical old doctor. But he's really patient and answers my stupid questions, like when I asked why the ultrasound scan is black and white on screen. He's also gentle and, just, I CAN'T PUT IT IN WORDS!! I get those warm fuzzy feelings when I think about him, similar to love I suppose????!! Hope he's married, so I can forget him. But I have another appointment with him soon! HOW??!

FUCK IT.

Swoon at Doctors

2009-11-15T18:07:00.001-08:00

Saw a gynaecologist at KK's Hospital last friday. Seriously down with doctor fetish now. LOVE LOVE LOVE everyone of them!!

List of doctors I saw this year:
Nicholas Lim from Clementi Polyclinic
Skin consultant(forgot his name T.T) from National Skin Centre(He has the most gorgeous pair of hands; SOFT AND WHITE AND SUPER-SMOOTH)
Gynaecologist from KK Hospital(astonishingly blue eyes, but strangely he's Asian)

I don't even feel uncomfortable when the gynae examines me, feels kinda all right. Some people say they feel violated =.= zz but lol I don't know why I'm fine with it. It's ticklish!

After reading the above sentence, I have come to the painful conclusion that I'm not gay, but sick.

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2009-10-03T09:39:00.000-07:00

Thursday night I looked out of the window, full of anticipation. The festive chilli red lanterns had been hung up. They blink fondly up at me and I see nothing but sincere excitement shining back.

Friday night I looked out of the window, full of tears. The lanterns are still blinking. But now they have a knowing look to them. Whether it's comforting or contemptuous, I can't decide.

Tonight I looked out of the window. The red lanterns are still there, having served their purpose of being admired by the crowd as decorations. But now, the light has gone out.

Tomorrow, if I look out again, the lanterns will be gone.

Today,

2009-09-07T07:41:00.000-07:00

you asked why I'm so self-sacrificial. WHY!! BECAUSE IT'S JUST THE RIGHT THING TO DO IN SUCH A STATE! IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE! IF I DON'T DO IT I'LL FEEL GUILTY ALL WEEK AND MOODY AND BROODY AND RETALIATE BY STUFFING MYSELF EVEN THOUGH I JUST HAD LAOBEIJING YESTERDAY AND GAIN ANOTHER 5 POUNDS AND I DON'T WANT TO BECOME SO FAT SO I JUST DID THE RIGHT THING OK!! ANY MORE HALF-WITTED ANNOYING QUESTIONS? >:(

I had lunch with Sylvia! Wow now then to count back, I didn't have lunch with Sylvia SiQi Pearlie ChongEe WeiSiang for so long! Ok waiting for band camp! Then can have lunch together YAY LMAO!! Ok I love Subway cookies!! Sylvia wanted LJs but she saw Sherry in the restaurant and got freaked out HAHAHAHAHA!! Mm think I'll freak out too if I suddenly saw Cecilina Ena Gen or Stickman Yu Xuan. So I bought cookies from Subway and sat there to eat while waiting for her to pack her lunch from Lj's to Subway. So slow!! Down to only one cookie when she came! HAHAHAHAHA THEN THE SUBWAY WAITRESS CAME TO CLEAR TABLES AND SAW SYLVIA EATING LJS IN SUBWAY AND she ignored her!! Fun ruined! If I'm the waitress I'll ask her to leave then I'll(in real life) force her to sit with Sherry HAH!! OH YES YES today while I was eating takoyaki I kept laughing cos I'm looking at Sylvia then I imagined she's the subway cookie and the takoyaki HAHAHAHA!!

TADAA~~

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ok stop.

I dunno how's SiQi...

Ok now I have something to say to SiQi but I have a feeling that if I actually say it out I'll forget everything I want to say, so I'll type it out:

Dear SiQi,

OMGZ SIQI!!!!! YOU NEED TO UNWIND!!! Everytime I look at you in band when you are in one of those dilemma-ish situations involving KT JJ ZN JH, you look like you're so frustrated and your voice sounds all wobbly. And THEN, I'll be in a dilemma =.= . I won't know what to do when I'm in your shoes. I think you're really Superwoman! Like Hilary Clinton! If I were you I'd really have resigned from SL long ago! You can carry the load for so long! So keep it going, don't give up! Else all your past efforts will be wasted!! Really very happy to have you as my SL!! To you:

Picked turquoise cos it matches your blogskin!! Wow this is the 2nd time I'm typing your name is glitter text!

LIU QIAN YET AGAIN!! (and charming choi)

2009-08-19T07:05:00.001-07:00

WOO WATCHED MORE 北京世界魔术大会 2009 AGAIN TODAY!! THERE'S REALLY LOADS OF TALENT AT THE COMPETITON!! Unearthed a Korean magician today(yay!). He's cute but too typical, like the typical korean actor face. But he specialises in 近景魔术 as well(WOO LIUQIAN!) and his performance is flawlessly perfect(waste words). He really stands out becuase he's not the boring pick-a-card type. He performed with fishes! So creative! AND HIS NAME IS CHARMING CHOI OMG LOL!! GO WATCH!! If you don't your whole life is wasted. Oh and skip the part with all the talking in front.

I'VE WATCHED SEVEN MORE(THAT'S THIRTEEN IN TOTAL WTH) VIDEOS TODAY AND STILL HAVE NOT FOUND KING LIU QIAN!! GETTING MORE IRRITATED!

LIU QIAN AGAIN!!

2009-08-18T06:11:00.001-07:00

WOO I FOUND THE 北京世界魔术大会 2009 ON YOUTUBE!! All the Caucasian magicians are soo cool(especially this Russian)!! Their fingers seem to be made of rubber and are SO nimble. They twist and they turn and they snap and they WHOOSH make things disappear. I WANT FINGERS LIKE THAT! China is act cool, but good nevertheless as they took part in every segment, including 近景魔术(Liu Qian's expertise ^.^). ZZ one of China's tricks was already broadcasted in America's Got Talent =.= . I'VE WATCHED SIX VIDEOS AND HAVE NOT SEEN LIU QIAN'S ACT!! GETTING VERY IRRITATED NOW!!

LIU QIAN!!

2009-08-14T23:53:00.001-07:00

45321896843218735 MY AUNT JUST TOLD ME THERE'S AN INTERNATIONAL MAGICIANS' CONVENTION/COMPETITION TAKING PART IN CHINA RIGHT NOW AND LIU QIAN IS IN AND I CAN'T WATCH COS I DON'T HAVE CCTV 3!! BLOODIED!!

I LOVE SINGAPORE!

2009-08-11T06:03:00.001-07:00

Lol, a bit late. BUT I LOVE SINGAPORE! During SS last thursday Mrs Chng (WOO I LOVE HER TOO) was talking to us about Singapore's issues and FIRST TIME EVER(I SWEAR) I was paying attention because it was ALL SO INTERESTING! Didn't know at all that Singapore was so accomplished! I'M VERY PROUD TO BE A SINGAPOREAN NOW!! Thank you Mr. Lee Kuan Yew and all the other successful ministers in our brilliant government! You have our best interests at heart! Thank you!!
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TESTING

2009-08-08T23:24:00.001-07:00

TESTING

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2009-08-08T00:19:00.000-07:00

MY SISTER IS A BITCH I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I'M BOTHERING TO TRY AND BE NICE TO HER WTF ALWAYS SAY THINGS AND DON'T DO THEM IN THE END AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT DON'T WANT TO DO THEN WHY NOT JUST SHUT YOUR MOUTH ON YOUR UGLY FACE UP CAN'T STAND HER CAN'T WAIT TO GET MY OWN HOUSE WITHOUT HER NEXT TIME.

This post is so useless, but she SUCKS anyway. YOU TRY SURVIVING A DAY WITHOUT FEELING FRUSTRATED ANGRY IRRITATED WITH HER.

2009-07-31T07:50:00.000-07:00

Today it's July 31st so it's Harry Potter's birthday! BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, it's also my sister's birthday! So Happy Big One-Four!! Sorry for always being so mean hor! ..sounds so insincere..but it's not!

Wow her friends really can bake. The cookies they made (albeit really ugly) taste like the Subway double chocolates! WTH! Lol why did I eat other people's birthday cookies..HAIZ SHE OFFERED ME! Asked her to get the recipe from her friend haha maybe I'll bake next time! Oh Joy soo can bake too! Her gooey brownies are on my list of what-I-can-eat-for-the-rest-of-my-life food items. Er, and my sis got a bigass bar of Toblerone, packets of Skittles, Cadbury Black Forest, nougats with cashews, Yupi gummies and other whatnots. WTF ALL THE FAT THE CHOLESTEROL AND SUGAR!

I'm super health-concious now(close brush with cancer, what d'you expect) and Anyang totally agrees with me!! We're going to apply sunscreen every 2 hours to prevent skin cancer(she actually disagrees with this point but I don't care, going to smother her with it anyway). We're going to eat loads tons of fruits everyday. We're going to drink at least 5 glasses of water everyday(slowly build up to 8 glasses). But both of us can't be bothered to move our lazy bums to excercise HAHA!!

This whole week is wack! Hate Xu Lao Shi to the core man! Gay and still must flaunt your English. Soft and tender! And why always the subtle hint of degradingness(using the meaning)?

ZZ I think our band's gonna collapse. Hope choir collapses first LOLMAO! Opps so teensy.

DOCTORS ARE CHARMING

2009-07-27T05:58:00.001-07:00

WOOHOO I'M SO VERRY VERRY HAPPY NOW!! I MOST LIKELY DON'T HAVE CANCER!!! Haha I know, sounds ridiculous but I do have the symptoms okay!

Scaly red patches
Sores that refuse to heal for more than two weeks
Sores that ooze liquid(mega YUCKS) and turn crusty

But I went to Clementi Polyclinic and they referred me to a specialist in NUH so I'll have to go there too.

Skipping to main point. The doctor I saw was CHARMING! So gentlemanly! Originally I was supposed to consult the doctor in Room 13 and when she came out for a bit, I saw her and was like, "..." She was gabbering in don't know Hokkien or Teochew or Cantonese or Tamil, LOUDLY, like unprofessional hairdressers chatting on the phone while cutting hair or marketplace aunties who sell vegetables gossipping. "Ah Suan, today the fish not very fresh leh! Give discount hor!" (Not saying the mentioned languages are unprofessional lah of course.)

But as luck would have it, a nurse came and referred me to Room 11 instead and when I entered I was again, "...", but this time it was swooning. Seated behind the desk was a 29 to at most 35 years old male doctor smiling at me! I registered his twinkling eyes behind rimless glasses, glossy slightly gelled hair, flawless skin stretched over high cheekbones and clean white lab coat. (ZZZ HOW COME SOUND LIKE MR LING? =.=) FULL 100% ADOLESCENT CRUSH ALERT! Looks like husband-material. So I dumped my stuff on the bed he gestured to(HE GESTURED TO A BED!) and skipped happily to the chair beside him. WTF WHY MUST MY SKIN LOOK LIKE THAT AT THIS POINT OF TIME! Thoroughly enjoyed the whole consultation. He has impeccable manners and a smooth smoooooth voice, not fruity or unctuous, just sincere. AND THEN, I saw his name tag. Nicholas Lim Sheng Yang. TOTALLY RUINED!

HAHA LIKE MY ANTI-CLIMAX?

2009-07-23T03:43:00.000-07:00

I feel so guilty now treating my mother so badly. I always (on purpose) piss her off or ignore her simply because I feel like it. Now I'm making her worried over something else due to my own ignorance and negligence. She works so hard to provide for us. Her life is so stressful. At 40+ years now she should be enjoying life. But she's still running like mad after me. Feel like crying now.

2009-07-21T04:57:00.000-07:00

Help I think my mum is going mad! Okay first when I came home from FPSP today she was already back home(early). Then I went to untie my hair and my sister told me, "The terrapin died today." And I was like, "Wow finally, must be because of my good luck." And my sister said, "Shhh!" And I was like, "Whatever," before going to wash all the powder off.

When I came outta the bathroom my mum was sobbing and talking about how the terrapin could have lived to a hundred years old blah blah and how we didn't take care of it =.= Inside, I was totally WTF??! but I didn't give a hoot and went to get some honey water. When I was back she was licking some white powder off a piece of paper! WTF IS SHE DOING CRACK?! But discovered later that it's cereal whew.

2009-07-20T06:19:00.000-07:00

GAWD I AM TOTALLY OBSESSED WITH NICKEL! EVERYDAY I MUST FIND SOMEONE TO RANT TO ABOUT HIM! Usually Felicia. Now I have Sinyee! Nickel's mine mine mine! So I'm not going to post a picture of him cos he's mine! His adorableness is all for me to enjoy! *clutches face and starts screaming* He makes me more obsessed with makeup and style and fashion as well. And he's still mine!

Okay I know what you're thinking. You're thinking: this bitch is bitching like so typically a bimbo about some guy and acts like she's a style/makeup expert talking like that. All of this is irrelevant to me so I'm gonna stop wasting my time reading now.

SO WHAT! THIS BLOG IS STILL MY RANTING GROUND SO I POST WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE! TO READ OR NOT IS UP TO YOU!

Haha why am I taking it out on people HAHAHAHA LOL!!

Oh I don't like my new seating arrangement!! (T.T) All the dust, noise and heat is concentrated over there at the right! Plus I WAS WITH FELICIA AT THE OLD SEAT CAN!! At least Nicholas was funny at the old seat too, now nobody to make me laugh except for WeiSiang during band. HOW?

Heehee kept bugging XiaoTong to tell me what's life like in America SORRY. (>.<) I want to tour New York and London later in life! Before I'm 25 preferably, so I'll still look young and gorgeous and fit into the crowd SO THERE!

ZZ Joy and Pearlie didn't come for band today SO BORING!! WeiSiang's hair is really really okay lor, not too bad, pur-lease how was my hair when I was in Sec One? I'm a girl and I looked like KahHang! Everyone has bad hair phases lah. Hopefully it will pass soon =)

OH YES YES HAHA MUST COMMENT ON FELIX! HAHA WTHECK I think he's just acting when he conducts! "The band needs more air." "The band is sounding better." Think he just made all that stuff up HAHA!! Act pro! All right but overall...hmmm...he's still a really good student conducter. Good pose.

MAC!

2009-07-18T03:27:00.000-07:00

OMG I FOUND OUT SINGAPORE CHANGI AIRPORT SELLS MAC MAKEUP(a little bit cheaper)! I MUST MUST MUST GET PORCELAIN PINK MINERALIZE SKINFINISH BECAUSE NICKEL RECOMMENDED IT! AND DEEP BLUE GREEN PIGMENT BECAUSE HE RECOMMENDED IT TOO!!

I dislike Nickel a wee bit now because he's so gorgeous so perfect so flawless so beautiful he makes me feel insecure. But he's still my idol!!!

2009-07-17T03:04:00.000-07:00

I feel really zi bei now. I know it sounds like whining, like a joke but I AM SO SERIOUS. Why are there people like Nickel and people like me on Earth? His life is appears to be SOOOO carefree. The more I watch his videos and more I feel like, just giving up, on life, on everything. All he (seems to be) doing all day is just collecting really expensive clothes, collecting really expensive makeup, doing makeup, partying. Nothing to worry about at all. And I still don't have the faintest idea on what Coasts in Geography is about despite next week's class test. See the difference? Studying really puts me off at times. Usually before I crack a book I already feel like throwing it down and playing. I only persevere because I want to have a successful and fun career in future and not become a hobo. And to make money and live a comfortable life of course. I shudder to think of myself 15 years later at 30 years old being a housewife and in ratty tees and shorts and living in a standard 3-room HDB. So not flattering or fun. It feels like my whole life is wasted. I want to be like Nickel, carefree with nothing of that sort to bother me at all. The more I mull over it the more glum I become.

Sigh why am I thinking about such things.

2009-07-15T04:03:00.000-07:00

Wow having a fever is reeeally as hellish as it can get.

-39.6 degrees
-mucousy(sp?) coughs
-painful sore throat
-severe dizziness(not sure for all)
-TOTALLY UN-GET-RID-ABLE BLOCKED NOSE
-feeling hot and cold all over
-having to drink herbal-berbal shit
-bitter tablets
-VOMITING
-frequent breakouts in cold sweat
-loss of appetite

Anyway, short description:

My matted hair fell in strands around my face, having not been washed in like, two days. I can't even go to the kitchen fast enough to make a sandwich before dizziness hits me on the head like a hammer. BOING. So of course my hair, you know. My knuckles are white and shaking from clutching the basin(I know, so typically essayish but true) for vomiting in. Two oranges and a slice of bread have gone down the sewers, just like that. I look up at the mirror. Somewhat pale face. Check. Yellowish vomit at mouth corners. Check. Unwashed, greasy hair. Check. Wish the class could see me now.

But now I'm back to normal! Back to school just as hyper as I ever was! Back with Min Quan and Meng Mei(haha suddenly this just popped up in my mind=.=) ok Meng Ting today! Usual messy-but-at-least-clean hair. Check. No vomit at mouth. Check. Usual badly-applied makeup. Check. Back to normal!

BUAHAHA I HAVE ANALYSED ALL MY MAKEUP AND CONCLUDED THAT THE POWDER IS THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM! I WILL SAVE UP AND GET THE Za FOUNDATION(which AnYang gave me and I was previously using until it cracked in my bag [SO ANGRY])!

Chem SPA was grrreat today but I can't stand the male inspector. His demeanour and dressing and just about head-to-toe reminds me of a zha pian ji tuan person in disguise. And he hovers at my desk like a hawk, spying and ready to report to Jesse Lim the slightest mistake I make(and I did make a stupid one). Like a fly I'm longing to swat. I can imagine heating some acid in a test tube and pointing it at him and it will start to boil and the acid will sputter out in one graceful arch and hit him squarely in the eye. I will act all shocked and apologise profusely while he cries out in agony. I will accidently-on-purpose grab a bottle of acid instead of water and on the pretext of washing his eye, dump it on his face.

Please imagine.

I want a British accent! Can't tell the difference between a British and American one but I want a British accent!

I need a new bag!

I have to change my temporary blogskin!

I'm going to eat dinnner! Bye!

2009-07-02T04:57:00.000-07:00

Michael Jackson, I know I'm not a great fan of yours but why is it that I'm affected by your death? I mean after I heard Heal the World my tears start falling and I regret that I've never got interested in knowing you specially, appreciating your music. And now you're gone. You will never make another album full of Top 10 singles. But I know your music will live forever. 1000 years later, people will still be listening to Thriller and doing the moonwalk.

Therefore, goodbye.

CURRENTLY FEELING, CAMP

2009-06-24T04:31:00.000-07:00

Mixed feelings.

1) ANGRY. In my mind: discontent(absolutely), unhappiness(every minute), wrath(most of the time), but I am rarely this DOWNRIGHT PISSED OFF! 那个反胃口的人/A/Whatever!

2) IMPATIENT. Can't wait for band to start again! Why was it cancelled due to H1N1?? (T.T) START START START! Welfare please buy cookies I will help to polish off everything! (^^)

3) ANXIOUS. The homework! The load! The concrete bricks on my brain!

4) INDIFERENT. Heck care, as always.

Camp:
-WeiSiang said Chief Eunice has thunder thighs.
-I dropped this whole chunk of agar on myself during lunch on Day 1. Did anyone notice?
-9 slices of watermelon went down my gullet during Day 1 dinner.
-The high elements briefer is pretty big down there.
-SinZhi and Apple are cute.
-Winston is 21 years old.
-Elaine has pretty nails.
-[A] gets on my nerves.

2009-06-20T07:34:00.000-07:00

OMG. My mother smashed someone's car backscreen.

Details, maybe next time.

2009-06-17T01:23:00.000-07:00

MY VERY BELOVED GRANDFATHER!

MY VERY BELOVED GRANDMOTHER!

THE VERY FAIL ME!

DON'T JUDGE ME COS I LOOK BETTER NOW!

2009-06-14T23:01:00.000-07:00

What the my sister occupies the phone 24/7 and her voice is so NOT music to my ears.

AnYang get back here from China soon and get me my makeup palette!!

BAND INVESTITURE!!

2009-06-14T09:16:00.000-07:00

Will try to give a blow-by-blow account full of details in this entry.

NHSB 3rd Annual Band Investiture or handover(haha I did say details) was yesterday. Woke up at FREAKING 0530 in the morning, brushed teeth makeup do hair get dressed breakfast blah blah the usual routine and hurried to Ananas Cafe, reached at 0650(handover only starts at 9) so that percussion can choose last-minute gifts for SeeHwee and Benedict AND GET THIS: ONLY ONE OTHER PERSON(SIQI haha section leader) TURNED UP. A little fuming inside when I knew that the rest weren't going to appear. But guilt kept on building up inside too due to our last minute gift-choosing. Only bought seniors typical-and-totally-predictable chocolates. At least the previous year Benedict and I bothered to go to Jurong Point and get tiny customised shirts for Ian and Stickman. The other day I went to gatecrash a trumpets outing at YanTing's house, they were baking muffins and cookies for the seniors. Had a lot of fun, but that didn't push away the nagging feeling behind my mind that percussion should do the same for their seniors too. Omg. Gatecrasher's guilt.

DECIDED: I WILL GET MY SUCCESSOR(LOL) SPARKLING JUICE or TOILET PAPER!

In the end JoeJee's excuse for not turning up to buy the presents was because his sister changed his alarm tone to a bangla song. OH WOW THEN WHY DID YOU EVEN COME FOR THE INVESTITURE? Hate people who are like this, even though I know it might not be his fault but, what, opinions aren't allowed?

Btw SayHua's socks are, so, REVOLUTIONARY! On them was this picture of KIMBUM! But I'd rather get mine with Christian's face =)

SIQI IS MY NEW SECTION LEADER OMG! Haha hope she can make up her mind about who is to be the next one LOL(if you're from our section you'd understand).

When people run in circles it's a very very, Mad World, Mad World~

Ok sorry, back.

Got the Quartermaster and Discipline Mistress post myself. OMG HOW TO SURVIVE. I don't even know how to start. At least I can get YuWei to help me for the QM but, get JoeJee to help me for DM? Can pigs fly? IT'S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN.

i am qm BUT i will still do my job cos i love band and it's for the sake of the band

Can't believe I said this in a convo on msn. I know you can't believe it either.

zz CHACE just signed in to MSN.

Oh received merci chocolates from Daryl as a present. HAHA I KNOW WHY HE BOUGHT THEM! IT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE ON SALE HAHA!!

Took a section photo(okay skip, too painful to talk about).

There was a buffet.

OKAY DAMN I'M NOT GIVING ENOUGH DETAILS.

So there was a buffet in the canteen for the band consisting of chicken legs(everyone kept saying they were wings =.=), fried yellow noodles with squid, spicy fishballs, chocolate something, cheesecake, and MY FAVE: PUNCH!

Definitely drank more than 5 cups.

KT is goddamn stupid he was complaining about how he got the LOUSY ASL post and firing many highly unoriginal 'fuck them's in all directions loudly and didn't know Madam Zuraidah and Mr Tan heard everything behind him. Oh well, his loss.

After the buffet SiQi and I went loitering around, feeling stupidly full. We wanted to go home but thought that we'd wait for the trumpeteters. After another 15 foolish minutes of fruitless waiting we just went up to the band room and FOUND THE WHOLE LOT OF THEM THERE!

Suddenly feel like sleeping...bye bye come back to read my mighty blog again!

2009-06-11T23:46:00.002-07:00

GATECRASHING AT YANTING'S HOUSE NOW BAKING TRUMPET COOKIES!

2009-06-03T04:49:00.000-07:00

*name changed to protect identity

Band practice yesterday again. The only highlight of that day is Felix conducting(would say he's a pretty good conducter), unless you want to count *Bastard's unexpected coming of band. Bastard was trying to GL Felix by crashing the cymbals and bashing the bass drum with unneccessary violence because he wanted Felix's student conducter position. OH MY GOD I've never thought that a GUY would behave so childishly! Only thought girls were this bitchy(oh well we're girls). Thought a guy would go into their "cave" and 1)don't talk 2)sleep 3)stay there until he feels fine again. And just look at the way Bastard stands and sits. Severely hunched back, half-alive. IF he became our student conducter then our band would be known as "Band of the Living Dead".

Anyway, the way Felix reacted was so cool! Much more dignified than Bastard's behaviour. Will not dive into details, but Felix 是我的新偶像!

ABOMINABLE!

2009-05-30T07:45:00.001-07:00

I hate it when movie credits start rolling, especially when I’m watching the movie in a cinema. During the movie it’s like a fantasy, dream come true, regardless of whether it’s a hilarity or heart-wrencher. It’s like nothing matters as long as the film continues rolling. It’s like all I have to do is to continue grasping on to the silver screen. But when the lights flicker on, when the ending music starts playing, it’s like, game over, goodbye, back to reality with a hard bump. Even when I’m with friends, it feels as if I’ve nowhere to go next, like I’m homeless, like nobody wants me.

Abominable movie credits!

2009-05-30T04:52:00.000-07:00

Random day after school in class:

Mr Ling, "Those who can't go for the physics SPA, meet me outside the class!"
Meng Ting, " Everyone pay the $3 for geog file!"
Nicholas, "Eh pass up the China trip form!"
Qin Si, "Hand in Maths file!"

Mmm I love 306.

OVERHEARD IN NEW YORK

2009-05-28T04:55:00.001-07:00

Conductor: Passengers, as you all know the New Haven line is known as the Love Line, because of our red colors and red schedules. For Valentine's Day why not buy a loved one a ticket? Nothing says "I love you" like a Metro North ticket! Imagine the look on your mother-in-law's face when she opens up her present to find a one way trip to Manhattan!

--Metro North Train

2009-05-15T00:38:00.000-07:00

MY SISTER IS A FUCKTARD! EFFING FUCKTARD! START THE CONVO WITH ME FIRST AND THEN ARGUE W/ ME THEN BLAME ME WHEN IT'S TOTALLY NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS IN THE FIRST PLACE?? THE WHOLE THING DOESN'T EVEN INVOLVE YOU YOU BITCH!

To Love

2009-05-11T08:05:00.000-07:00

I LOVE xDjM I WANT TO GO HOME WITH YOU ALL, LAUGH WITH YOU ALL, GATHER EVERY MORNING AT THE LIFT LOBBY WITH YOU ALL, CRACK LAME JOKES WITH YOU ALL, HAVE ANOTHER OUTING WITH YOU ALL AND GO TO BAND WITH YOU ALL!! ESPECIALLY BAND! MYE FASTER GET THE HELL OUT OF OUR LIVES, I CAN'T STAND IT ARGHH!! THEN WE CAN GO CRAZY AGAIN!!! CAN'T WAIT!! TOMORROW !!

SIGH QUIZ YET AGAIN

2009-05-08T21:30:00.000-07:00

22 people you know:

1) Liu Qian
2) Felicia
3) Yanting
4) Maggie
5) Sylvia
6) Pearlie
7) Siqi
8) Joy
9) Weisiang
10) Chongee
11) Hui Zhen
12) Aloysius
13) Anyang
14) Zhiyu
15) Ian
16) Benedict
17) Joejee
18) Ashley
19) Magdelene
20) Min Quan
21) Lambo
22) My Alter Ego

*How did you meet 7 (SiQi)?
Sec One Band Percussion 2007!

*What would you do if you had never met 15 (Ian)?
Um, then I wouldn't've been able to get my hands on his science notes HAHA!

*What would you do if 20 and 1 dated (Min Quan AND LIU QIAN??!!)?
I would bloody behead them man!

*Have you ever seen 17 cry (Joejee)?
No but he did.

*Would 3 and 6 make a good couple (Yanting and Pearlie)?
6 got her 10 PUR-LEASE!

*Would 4 and 16 make a good couple (Maggie and Benedict)?
BUAHAHAHAHAHA!! no lah maggie's too pretty =)

*describe 19 (Magdelene)
Severely Extremely Terribly Critical

*Do you like 17 (Joejee)?
Why him again? All right yes.

*Do you think 21 is attractive (Lambo)?
Me NO. Sylvia YES

*What is 5’s favorite color (Sylvia)?
MUST BE PURPLE PURPLE! GAY PURPLE!

*When was the last time you talked to 9 (Weisiang)?
Last Thursday HAHA SO FUNNY!

*What language(s) does 11 speak (Hui Zhen)?
English Chinese Spanish.

*Who is 13 going out with (Anyang)?
Lol they're going to break up sooner or later..

*What year is 16 in (Benedict)?
Uh O.o..2009?

*What is 14's favourite music (Zhiyu)
Lol I think she doesn't ever listen to music..alright CO!

*Would you ever date 7 (SiQi)?
LOL NO WAY!

*Would you ever date 3 (Yanting)?
LOL NO NO WAY!

*Where does 18 live (Ashley)?
Dunno..must be some high-class fully air-coned apartment..

*What is the best thing about 4 (Maggie)?
Very funny..doesn't seem to get angry =.= sells guide cookies, and she drops down!

*What would you like to tell 10 right now (Chongee)?
Daijoubu HAHAHAHA!

*What is the best thing about 20 (Min Quan)?
His sarcastic streak.

*Have you ever kissed 1 (LiuQian)?
Wish I could lol!

*What’s the best memory you have of 9 (Weisiang)?
Lol the 1234567 joke =)

*When’s the next time you’re going to see 4 (Maggie)?
HMMM TUESDAY ? !

*Is 2 pretty (Felicia)?
pretty pretty =)

*What was your first impression of 15 (Ian)?
HAHAHA SO WTH!! HAHA I LAUGH FINISH FIRST HAHA!! hmm okay..i thought he was very bushuang cos he was sitting like gangster shaking leg and listening to music.

*How did you meet 3 (Yanting)?
102 LONG STORY LAH!

*Is 5 your best friend (Sylvia)?
ONE OF THEM +)

*Describe 22 (My Alter Ego)
Amazing, mischievous, critical, lazy and SEXSHY HA! also intellectually attractive.

*Have you seen 18 in the last month (Ashley)?
Lol just last Thursday!

*Last time you saw 16 (Benedict)?
he was eating with zoelyn and Mr Tan!!

*Have you been to 21’s house (Lambo)?
hmm..a bit off =.=

*When’s the next time you’ll see 8 (Joy)?
TUESDAY ? :D

*Are you really close to 13 (Anyang)?
Rofl I went out with her once with her in my grandma's shoes and me in my PE shorts(the pair with a hole in the right leg).

*Have you been to the movies with 4 (Maggie)?
Nearly but no =(

*Have you gotten in trouble with 8 (Joy)?
I'd like to HAHA!

*What does 12 like to eat (Aloysius)?
Joy's brownies!

*Would you give 2 a hug (Felicia)?
Yup ! =D

*When have you lied to 13 (Anyang)?
So sorry!

*Do you know a secret about 11 (HuiZhen)?
If it's a secret how will i know..

*Have you met 1's mother (LiuQian)?
伯母, 请多多指教! (directly ctrl-c-ed from Magdelene's blog)

Overheard In New York

2009-05-07T05:24:00.000-07:00

Female shopper to Bloomingdale's cologne sprayer: Don't you dare spray your $30 over my $150.

--Perfume Aisle, Bloomingdale's

Black guy, cutting in front of line at movie theater: Excuse me, Barack Obama is President now. Thank you.

--AMC Movie Theater

Overheard by: Emmy

This is funniest HAHA!

Young teen guy to girlfriend: You see, I got hairline issues. You know, 'cuz when you get older, your hair follicles increase and your hair is less. I'm not used to my hair. It used to be here (points to his forehead), but now it's here. (points to the same place on his forehead) I got hairline issues.

--4 Ttrain

Overheard by: Megz

FOR MORE VISIT OVERHEARD IN NEW YORK!!

2009-05-01T05:11:00.000-07:00

Oh alright maybe I was wrong.

2009-04-27T06:05:00.000-07:00

Everyone I bloody fucking hate my sister she always makes me wanna slap her everytime I need the computer to do something and she's using then she would purposely open a window and say she's doing work then later you check her she's playing some lame game only losers play so she's a goddamn loser. She's bloody fucked up tell you and she's also scared of the dark when i'm showering at night she'll go purposely off the light and when i shout she'll say,"oops sorry" and then on it again. later you ask her then she'll say "sorry accidentally off" just because she's bloody scared of the dark means she has to do this to me. she even on the light when she's using toilet in the morning can why is she so fucking pathetic why is she my sis i'd rather have anis or anyang as my sis OKAY! Maybe i'm just so immature.

Fuck her.

To my horrified, intelligent, mature readers: I apologize for this post in broken English and also for this childish outburst but I am just so angry at her. Maybe tomorrow I will reflect upon myself and find out I was wrong. But heck, not today.

OMGZ HAHAHAHA!

2009-04-11T01:28:00.000-07:00

um..wow, like, WOW!

2009-04-06T05:18:00.001-07:00

2009-03-29T04:49:00.000-07:00

OH MY GOD MY 天神 SO SO SO VERY SORRY I FORGOT YESTERDAY WAS EARTH HOUR SO SORRY I SWITCHED ON MY COMPUTER, TV, LIVING ROOM LIGHTS, BEDROOM LIGHTS, KITCHEN ROOM LIGHTS, TOILET ROOM LIGHTS OMG SO SO SO SORRY I WILL NOT WATCH TV FOR ONE WHOLE WEEK OKAY MUST FORGIVE ME! DON'T LET KARMA HAPPEN HOR! THANK YOU THANK YOU *KOUTOUS*

Bored

2009-03-16T05:12:00.000-07:00

Male:

Andre
Benedict or bodoh
Christian (CODY!)
Danson
Eduardo
Felix (FABIAN!)
George
Harry
Ian
Jonathan lol joe jee
Karl
Leon (LAMBO) (LIU QIAN!!!)
Marcus (MOYU)
Nicholas
Orangutan, oh, Orgasm
Peter
Qiao Ru (aiyah cannot think of a male name)
Raymond
Sean
Tan
Unknown
Victor
Warren (WEI XIANG)
Xavier
Yuri
Zeus (ZACK!)

Female:

Apple
Belladonna
Carissa
Darcia
Elena
Felicia
Gabrielle
Hermione
Isabelle
Jillian (JOY!)
Keri
Larrisa
Mona (MAGGIE!)
Narcissa or Nandini
Opal
Petunia (PEARLIE!)
Queenie (QIAO RU!)
Rebecca
Samantha (SYLVIA SIQI!)
Tabitha
Ursula
Venus
Willow
Xylem
Yiting (YANTING)
Zara

Conversation between Aunt and Grandma

2009-03-16T05:09:00.000-07:00

Grandma: (holds up a toy) Look, this is a pig.
Aunt: (observes) No, it's a dog.
Grandma: No it's a pig, look at the ears!
Aunt: It has paws, not hoofs.
Grandma: I'm telling you, it's a pig!
Aunt: Dog!
Grandma: Pig!

Me: Why don't the two of you just sleep?

Conversation with Sister

2009-03-09T06:27:00.000-07:00

This morning:

Me: Aye get up we're late!
Sister: (strolls out of the room slowly and looks at the clock) It's still early what..
Me: You stupid shit now is 6.40am not 5.40am, you think life is so easy ah?!

Sigh quiz again.

2009-02-28T04:01:00.000-08:00

1. YOUR REAL NAME:
Li Yi Ting

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:
(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle.)
Tinizzle. Woots!

3. YOUR SPY NAME:
(favorite color and favorite animal)
Silver pussy.

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME:
(your middle name and street you live on/or neighborhood if it's a number)
Yiclementi

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME:
(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
Tinli =.=

6. YOUR SUPERHERO/CRIMINAL NAME:
(Your 2nd favorite color, and favorite drink)
Black ice-blended.

7. YOUR IRAQI NAME:
(2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, 1st letter of your last name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, and last letter of your moms first name).
Intiylz

8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:
(parents middle names).
Yuan li.

9 . YOUR GOTH NAME:
(black, and the name of one of your pets).
No pet except for that awful terrapin which I'm always thinking of ways to get rid of, but if I ever get a cat I'll call it Qian Qian, so:
Black Qian Qian

10 . YOUR HOOD NAME:
(first 3 of your first name and add -iqua.)
Tiniqua

2009-02-24T05:10:00.000-08:00

i so angry my father say i dled virus into the computer i whrgot i tell you karma will happen and he will choke on the apple he's eating now

2009-02-24T04:59:00.000-08:00

FROM QIAORUUUUU!

Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real places, names, things - nothing made up. You cannot use your own name for the boy/girl name.

1) What is your name?
Li

2) A four-letter word:
Luck

3) A vehicle:
Lorry

4) A boy's name:
LiuQian! lol okay Lionel

5) A girl's name:
Lucinda

6) An occupation:
Laksa seller

7) Something you wear:
AHA LINGERIE!

8) A celebrity:
AHA THIS ONE CAN SAY LIUQIAN!

9) Something found in a bathroom:
..Lubricants?

10) Reason for being late:
LiuQian was with me.

11) Something you shout:
LIUQIAN! .. okay okay..LOSER!

12) A body part:
Lungs or lanjiao. You pick.

13) Word to describe yourself:
Lucky.

2009-02-22T03:22:00.000-08:00

THAT'S IT! EVEN TETRIS THERAPY ISN'T WORKING NOW!

Contrary to jokes I always post.

2009-02-22T01:45:00.000-08:00

I'm scared. I can't even do ONE single sub-question on the A Maths 2008 Sec 3 Common Test Paper. I don't want to fail. I can't see the light in the ever-ending tunnel of numbers. Someone pull me out please. Please! Am desperate already!

2009-02-18T04:42:00.001-08:00

Re-read The Devil Wears Prada for the 8th time yesterday. Lily uses fractions to choose her boyfriend! Inspired to do one for myself.

Basic 5:
1/10: intelligence
2/10: looks and height (>170cm)
3/10: sense of humour
4/10: sense of style
5/10: non-smoker, drug-ger, sniffer

Too good to hope for:
6/10: does not have psycho ex-girlfriends
7/10: able to play a musical instrument (NO PIANO! Drums allowed. Saxophone too if able to play like kimBURN! *HAHA YANTING*)
8/10: scores like Cristiano Ronaldo
9/10: enjoys the odd glass of wine
10/10: able to do magic, hypnotise people

2009-02-15T02:21:00.000-08:00

Finally bought Vday pressies but forgot to bring them to school today! Feeling a little less guilty now..but sorry didn't buy for everyone!

Tsk what's Lambo??

Jolly Old Valentines

2009-02-13T01:21:00.000-08:00

Here comes jolly old Valentine's Day. The only day of the year when you will buy pressies for your attached because you feel compiled to, pressured to. The only day of the year when you are willing to spend bucks on your other half because you feel compiled to, pressured to. The only day of the year when you will start a giving a minuscule damn about your appearance and wear something other than your daily plain white tee because you feel compiled to, pressured to. The only day of the year when you start popping mints like crazy because you feel compiled to, pressured to. The only day of the year when you might actually shave your pubes. You bring her out to the theatres, to the cinemas, to the overcrowded-with-other-couples-smooching-and-groping cafes. Why try so hard. Really romantic day(not).

A Very Merry Christmas to you.

2009-02-04T00:06:00.000-08:00

In a black silky shiny glossy short dress and killer 5-inch black heels, I scrutinized the couples in the royal ballroom steering gracefully to the slow melody. I heard someone calling me and when I turned around it was swoon and double swoon because my dance partner turned out to be 刘谦! OHMYGOD OHMYGOD! OHMYGOD X INFINITY!! I can totally pass out! But instead I put on my best smile and head over to him. THEN, just as I was THIS CLOSE,

"riiiing! riiiing!"

Turned out to be my mum. Hell you can't wait till my dream is over before you call and bother me with what to eat for dinner or what?! Sheesh she's amazingly annoying.

Stoning because I missed my one-in-a-million chance of dream ever coming true.

2009-01-05T05:14:00.000-08:00

Oh God I can't believe myself, I'm actually starting to like and respect Ms Jesse Lim. See I even call her Ms, last time I just 口口声声 Jesse Lim Jesse Lim. Today she gave us some prep talk and I've never listened more carefully to such things. So I suppose she's quite good after all, the way she speaks just makes us look up to her. And she's PRETTY! How come I've never noticed it before..except for her eyes which are just as intimidating as ever, but other than that she's got a nice bob and she's, uh, tall and willowy? No wonder there's such a big group of her well-wishers outside our class the first day all waiting anxiously for her. Ahem, I meant, fan club. I mean, ex-students. Including Abigail and JingWei and Ian. How loyal.

We have Fu Sheng Shiong as our Chinese Teacher. DANG, I was wishing for Cai Yi Fei. And to complete with Fonseka and Slacker Surin. They'd better set up that air-con sooner to compensate us.